54 words

Speedtest

If your husband mysteriously dissappears in the night..

Please do not assume he's being attacked by Ninja's. Its most likely that he decided to stand on the street corner of our busy street and happenstance to meet a wayward soul... Just sayin.

There are things I can not deny...

I can not deny that my life was miraculously changed back in 1997. Even though I may stand unchanged now I can not deny how my heart was melted and wiped clean that summer.

I can not deny the many supernatural gifts given to my husband.

I can not deny the many many timely anonymous gifts given to our family.

I can not deny a hurting sick and dieing world the Agape love I've been given.

I can not deny my own imperfections.

I can not deny the desire for a formula for being good.

I can not live my life in a formula. I can change my desire.

I can not live with out the knowledge of Grace that lets me make wrong choices and loves me through the consequences.

I can not deny others the Grace that has been so freely given to me.

I can not deny myself Grace. To question, to consider.

I can not love with out humility.

I can not desire retribution but only reconciliation.

I can not live dwelling in grief, I have to put it aside to enjoy life and really live.

I can not live with out the knowledge of hope and security of a future in Heaven and an end to all the suffering of earth.

I can not deny introspection. For looking within one self one can find Self.

Where my heart has been lately...

Hope

Advocate

Invision

Apply?

Someday

Yummy Pasta Dish.

I found this great recipie on the back of a box of bow tie pasta.

Sicilian Tomatoe Pasta

1 Box Bow Tie Pasta
1 Jar of Diced Tomatoes
1 cup Parmesean cheese
1 can of corn
Olive Oil
Italian Seasonings
Salt to taste

1. Cook pasta according to box. Drain.
2. Add the rest and heat through OR serve room temperature. :)


That is it and it was soooo goood! I served it with garlic bread made from left over hot dog buns. :)

"Sometimes one must eat her words. And chew them slowly. Regurgitate that choice morsel and chew it again and again and again. Swallow and let the lesson sink in..deeply..digest it.. "

The First time in 9 years..

I did not cry on Fathers Day. Though I miss my Dad dearly I think I've finally gotten to the place where I can focus on the father of my children and my Father in Heaven. Its peaceful almost to know that I have such a crowd waiting for me in Heaven.

Father's day used to break my heart. I thought he was missing out on my children's lives and that they were missing out by not really knowing him. The conclusion I've drawn over the years is that he is watching from Heaven and that he is such a big part of who I am today that my children know him, through me. To be consumed with sadness on Father's Day deprives my husband from the celebration that he deserves. It deprives my children of the mom that they deserve and it keeps me from relationship with my Father in Heaven as all types of bitterness does. Its been 10 years. To continue to mourn as I did the first year would be selfishness on my part.

That being said I did just decide not to cry. No, it just naturally came. I could sit through Father's Day sermon, and say "Happy FAther's Day" to my husband (and other husbands as well) and still feel that tiny bit of sorrow but it wasnt consuming. That is progress for me. To be able to live out on the other side of grief...after 9 years. Its been a long time.

I wish I had a picture of my Dad to show you. Maybe someday i will scan one.

Happy Fathers Day...

Happy Father's Day Dad! Gurgle, Coo, Drool, rumblings from the neather regions...
Love Lily

Happy Father's Day Dad-duh! Thanks for being my Buddy! And for tucking me in at night, and for wrestling every now and then!

Love Jadon

Daddy I love you! Thank you Daddy for giving us back movies and saying "Good-Bye". That's It! Can I go play now, Mom....
Love Benjamin

I love you Dad. Your Cool! Your Fun. Cant really think of anything else..giggle.
Love Logan

Dad I love you very very very much. Hope you have a very good day today. See you on Father's Day.
Love Natalie